“I fart in your general direction!”

OK, that’s a quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and not from Jose Cruz, the star of this particular story, but that’s pretty much what happened.

According to a local news article, Mr. Cruz was stopped by police in West Virginia for driving at night without headlights, and then subsequently arrested for driving while intoxicated. While being processed in the police station, Cruz became argumentative and passed gas directly onto one of the patrolmen, fanning the odorous mixture directly at him (if you read the actual complaint). That’s apparently when they added the battery charge.

Personally, I want to hear the other side of the story, because I think the police version stinks

But seriously…he’s very lucky he didn’t just get beaten to within an inch of his life.